I'm in the market for a large quantity of high end sparklers.

Due to impending scholastic examinations I will be unable to write at length a blog entry, however I believe it pertinent to the success of said blog to update at this time.

So I’ve been wondering, “where did the business plan go wrong?”

Institute sounds safe and legitimate, divine sounds like magic or hoopla you won’t be able to explain , metaphysical just sounds like next level religious shit, and research makes it sound learned and real. However the Institute has been closed every time I have walked past it for the past couple months. What is going on in the world, even people with brilliant ideas like this presented take on religion can’t get a solid footing. I guarantee you, you introduce this shit 10 years ago before facebook and twitter and The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research would have the Pope trembling in/under his Pope hat.  

I would be willing to wager money that at least 7 Mormon’s, 3 Jehovah’s Witnesses and a Scientologist have walked past this place and has said “Hah! What kind of a fool would buy into this garbage!” the Mormons would finish that statement with “They clearly haven’t heard the good word!” Followed by straightening of their ties, optimal adjustment of their stock flat-black backpacks, a quick double check of their jesus loves you smiles in the reflection. On they will march down their road of truth and righteousness.  

I was going to go into more depth about The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research, but after some google work and a couple tangents into scientology sites because they are comical I decided that the title of this “religion” speaks for itself. Enough said.

This could be considered a warning, or a promise. Depends.

Before my time at Mohawk comes to an end I will full speed 100% effort Bill Goldberg circa classic turn of the millennium  WCW winning streak resulting in a 173-1 combined record spear the final person who completes those infuriating but all too common hall blocking groupings of stupidity. Immediately following the spear I will quickly assess the damage inflicted on chosen moron. If I deem it necessary I will then complete one Bill Goldberg circa classic turn of the millenium WCW JackHammer finishing manoeuvres on said moron. Finally, and most importantly, I will look at the rest of the grouping of hall blocking retards and in my deepest, most Bill Goldberg-esque voice say “Who’s next?”  I’m toying with the use of sparklers for dramatic effect, not sure what the Mohawk fire code is though. Will consult with Mohawk personnel soon and update accordingly.

Training commences immediately.